Happy Monday

It's a new week.

rough day...

girls

mom

It has not been one of our best days. Taking pictures always makes me feel better. I suppose it reminds me that things aren't really as horrible as they may seem. How bad can things be when Claire and Lily look so very darling and they are so sweet to one another? I love the top picture of them in Lily's room; it is my new favorite. The picture of Lily and me is there because Claire wanted one with me in it. And let's face it, Claire can be persuasive.

I just saw Claire climbing the shelves in the pantry and when I asked her to get down, she said the following. "Mom if you don't want to see me climbing the pantry, then don't look at me." Great logic Claire, but safety comes first.

Now it is story time, followed by nap time. I am going to have mini m&m's and a diet cherry coke and read my book "Three Cups of Tea" while the girls are sleeping. Then we are going to have a fabulous afternoon to balance out our morning.

BRENNAN

Brennan, 10.

Girls had to be in a picture (Lily was still asleep, she is such a good baby).

sprinkles cupcakes for dessert...each kid got a candle to blow out.

Brennan's dinner pick In-N-Out

Lily at In-N-Out

2 years old at the beach

You are the sweetest big brother

As a toddler, you were all about the weapons...bow and arrow, shields etc.

Brennan, today you are 10.

I can't believe how fast it has flown by, when you look back that is.

I looked through old photos of you and decided to post some. Yes, these photos are scanned in because your arrival was before digital cameras were the norm. I spent the afternoon thinking of you as a baby, toddler, little boy. Some days I really miss that little person who was my constant little shadow. You always slept very little and you were always on the go. We survived your early days with the help of a swing. You would only sleep in the swing and it had to be moving...for the first four months of your life. You loved to go out and play and yet you always wanted to be with me. When you were little and we lived in San Francisco, we spent every single afternoon at the park. Your little friend Jensen would come down and knock on our door and out we would go...rain, shine, windy, freezing. We also had an unlimited pass to gymboree play and music and we would go with your little friend Makayla all the time. You adored the beach and we went often.

When you were 3, you jumped off the couch pretending to fly and broke your leg, at the exact moment that I told you not to jump because you could get hurt. Not fun, and the entire ride to the hospital you told me you would always listen to me for the rest of your life. When it was time to start preschool, you cried and cried every time I dropped you off. One time you cried so hard that you threw up. After that, I gave you a few skittles each morning to put in your pocket and I told you that when you got sad, lonely, or missed me you could eat a skittle. You never cried again. You have taught me so much about being a mom.

You are a combination of so many awesome traits...I love it.

You are quiet and loud and friendly but reserved. You are very bright, loyal, empathetic, athletic, strong, and you have such a sense of humor.

You are deep, Brennan.

We love watching you grow up.

9 months

Lily has hit the 9 month mark. Hard to believe.

She has filled out a lot in this last month...with cute round cheeks and rolls on her thighs.

I love how fat is adorable on babies.

She continues to be happy. Smiles all the time.

Cheerios are her favorite and the kids are learning to shut the pantry door because if she sees it open she races to it and tries to eat whatever crumbs she can find.

She is now standing and pulling herself up onto everything.

Lily claps now.

It is really fun...she usually does it when she hears music or watches Bella and Claire dance and play.

Lily also makes a growling noise sometimes, it is really funny.

We love you Lil!

thoughts on adoption

We can't imagine life without Claire and Lily in our family...

Trevor and I spent Saturday at the regional adoption conference in Mesa. It was a great day. We were very excited to see Cami speak on the birth mother panel. She did a fabulous job. It is a little overwhelming and emotional to spend an entire day listening to stories and experiences and information about adoption. A few things really struck me about this conference. One is how quickly adoption continues to change. This is true especially with relation to "openness" in adoptions. I have so very many thoughts, opinions, and beliefs about this. And yes they have changed drastically from my thoughts on openness when we first began thinking of adoption years ago. Some things you don't understand until you experience them.

This brings me to my second realization, adoption continues to be so misunderstood. I loved one adoption theme that was brought up more than once. Adoption isn't just an event. It is an ongoing process, journey, part of who you are. This is true for everyone involved in adoptions...from adopted children, adoptive parents, birth parents, birth grandparents, even siblings are forever changed and touched by adoption. One of my favorite parts of these conferences is the opportunity to listen to panels of birth mothers and adoptees speak about their experiences. I don't think anyone who sits and listens to these birth mothers tell their personal stories could ever doubt the love and tenderness they feel for the babies that they carried and brought into this world.

We were asked at the conference to share a little of our feelings on having an open adoption and if we ever felt concerned or worried. Our response was that surprisingly the opposite is true. With openness comes more information, more love, more trust. It feels very normal and easy to have visits and emails and calls with our girls' birth families. Our hope is that as Claire and Lily grow up, they will have all their questions answered, they will know their stories, they will know they are loved. In our home adoption is considered a miracle. It is talked about a lot. It is a happy thing. I will never forget the day that I heard Bella and Claire playing dolls. Bella grabbed to strollers and turned to Claire and said, "Come on Claire, let's go to your room and adopt our babies so we can play." It made me smile.

We have been watching the MTV series 16 and Pregnant. This is Catelynn's story. It captures a lot of the emotions involved in adoption. Also, we saw the Life After Labor show and the visit between the birth parents, the adoptive parents and baby Carly. It was really good and it provided a window into how adoption has evolved today. Most adoptions are open, most involve some sort of visits or emails, photos etc. Most are carried out by the most courageous and brave people you will ever see.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/16-and-pregnant-ep6-catelynn/1615511/playlist.jhtml

summer days

lily is yummy

cooking dinner

The girls were so excited to see Brennan when he got home from soccer camp.

Brennan

Getting so big so fast

Brennan and Bella on their first day of school (5th and 3rd grades)

The whole bunch on the first day of school.

The two girls who get to stay home

Claire thinks she helps Lily crawl.

dolls

making chocolate chip cookies

Lily eating cheerios, her fav.

Lily saying hello to Elliott and Alisa's kitty.

Claire was scared to death of the cat (totally unlike her)

slip and slide fun at Elliott's birthday party!

It's hard to believe that summer is over and the kids are back in school (Claire's preschool starts tomorrow). Could it be that it is still so very hot outside? This summer went by really fast. I can't believe the kids are in a new grade. On the first day of school, I asked Brennan and Bella if they wanted me to drop them in front for car line or to walk them to their class. They both answered at the same time. Brennan said, "Walk us in." Bella said, "Drop us, we know where to go." So funny, we walked them in. I always get more nervous for Brennan, because he gets nervous and doesn't like first days. We dropped him first and then Bella...Claire asked Bella's teacher politely if she could stay with Bella and be in the class. The teacher told her she can come visit sometime. On our way back out, I peaked in Brennan's class. He didn't see me, but I saw him. He was smiling, giggling and talking to one of his friend's sitting next to him. It made me smile. Lily, Claire and I headed home to a quiet day of playing, baking cookies, and counting down until the kids got home. We took them out to their favorite restaurant (California Pizza Kitchen) for dinner to celebrate their first day back.