dinner

We had a big family dinner last night. It was fun to have everyone together. I loved taking lots of pictures to document the occasion. Our family wouldn't be complete without Amber and Cami and it was really lovely to have them here together in our home. I love open adoption. I know lots of people have misconceptions and prejudices about adoption and what it is all about. For us, it is all about love and family and choice. And one of the most surprising things about open adoption is how normal and natural it feels when we all get together. There are moments when I feel that our family and the way we all found each other is nothing short of miraculous.

piano

I have wanted a piano for a long time now. I want the kids to all have the chance to learn how to play. Trevor surprised us with one yesterday. The girls were so excited and haven't stopped playing it. I have a feeling Brennan might not be quite as excited...I plan on having him take lessons too. I may even pick one of these photos, blow it up and frame it above the piano so that they will remember the excitement they once felt. I took lessons as a little girl and that excitement fades pretty quick. I think a photo may be a nice reminder; they all got up there on their own and I had to grab my camera. Now we have a beautiful piano that no one can play...how I wish that I had stuck with my lessons.

missing the farm

Bella's fourth of July dress

the beginning of painting the camo treehouse...black needs to be painted between

We got back late on Saturday night from the farm. Trevor picked us up with the sleepy girls in the car. Claire and Lily were beyond excited to see us (mostly to see Brennan and Bella). Both Brennan and Bella said that Lily looked huge! Brennan sat between Claire and Lily and made them giggle the whole ride home (it was 11:00p.m.)

The next day Brennan left for soccer camp and Bella adjusted to being back home to reality. It's been a week of adjustment. Claire misses preschool and is mad that I am not taking her. I may have to drive her there just to prove that they are all on vacation...she thinks they are all there having fun and she's missing out. We've done school shopping, shoe shopping, and lots of cleaning out of rooms this week. Last night was "meet the teacher" night at the kids school. School starts for Brennan and Bella on Monday. Claire's doesn't start for another week and a half. I told Claire that she was lucky to get some time with me and Lily. She said, "No, mom my school and friends need me." I try not to take it personally and remember that Claire is a social butterfly and Bella is a social bee. Brennan on the other hand, used to cry until he threw up when he had to go to school. He is still the one who gets the most homesick and misses me. I love the differences in temperament. I wonder how Lily will be. She cries when I walk out of the room. Then she crawls as fast as she can to try and catch you. It is really cute.

I miss the simplicity of life on the farm.

the farm

missed these kids so much it hurt

Bella asked me to take her picture again and again

last bon fire

kids setting off colored smoke bombs

me and kids

nana and kids

riding the tractor with papa

tree house...they are painting the outside as I type

Brennan on the swing

Bella in the garden

In front of the garden

Swinging

It was a big, long trip to get up here, but definitely worth it. I sat next to two kids on the flight to North Dakota. The seventh grade boy sat next to me and kept staring at my ipod. I asked him if he liked music and if he wanted to borrow it. He said, "Yes.". So I asked him what bands or what type of music he liked and in response, He said, "I don't know." I was a little shocked; Brennan, Bella, and maybe even Claire could tell you the kinds of music they like. So I showed him how to use it and handed it over. He had never used an ipod and he loved it. His older sister was 17 and she was really nice as well. They were really excited to get home to the green of North Dakota. They even offered to share their snacks with me.

Brennan met me in the airport. He was so stinkin' cute and looked so big. Papa was in the truck with the tractor and trailer. We started the 3 hour drive to the farm. Brennan was chatty and super excited to see me. He let me hug and kiss on him and he kept saying he missed me so very much. The most amazing thing driving out to the farm, was the sunset (it went on forever) and then the stars. I haven't seen stars like this in forever. The sky was full of them. You so quickly forget the beautiful things in nature that the city makes you forget...like a dark, clear sky full of bright, twinkling stars.

We got in at 1 a.m. I was really tired and we went right to bed. Bella and Brennan came and snuggled me and woke me up in the morning. They were excited to show me the farm. Oh, by the way it is freezing up here. The first night was like 50 degrees and it was colder than the middle of winter in Phoenix. Quite a shock to go from 115 degrees to 50 degrees in the same day.

So I got a full tour of the tree house...they painted the inside really cute with pink and blue trim. They love the tree swing. The chickens are so big, and funny...they cluster together and are quite shy. Bella loves the flowers and gardens and showed me everything there. Brennan took me up the super narrow, tall stairs to the unfinished upstairs. The ceilings and door frames are tiny up there (Jonny would have to duck his head to fit through). But it is cute, kind of like a little gingerbread house up there. Perfect for kids to bunk and stay...once it is all finished. Brennan wanted to show me the spider webs and dead flies...such a boy.

We went to town and ate at the local pizza parlor. The kids love the fried cauliflower. I was surprised. Brennan said, "Mom, you see, if you deep fry vegetables...people will actually eat them!" I laughed and laughed at that one. My mom has been making all kinds of homemade foods, it reminds me of my Grandma McMurray. So far we have had bacon, eggs, homemade bread, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, rhubarb crisp bars and chicken enchiladas. I have eaten the equivallent of probably a weeks worth of calories in the past 24 hours. But it is worth it.

Being up here brings back memories of my teen years. I used to visit my Grandma McMurray up in Burley, Idaho during the summers when I was in high school. She was always baking. She would make me fried zucchini from her gardens, and rhubarb crisp, and cookies, and bread. We would pretty much bake, go for long walks, and talk. She would give me money to go eat at Taco Bandito, a local Mexican food place. We would also get videos to watch at night and get banana creamies at the store. I have so many calm, happy memories with my grandma. Not to mention that the drive from Salt Lake City to Idaho was over 3 hours and the green farmland scenery was beautiful. I am so glad that our kids have someplace special to come visit and spend time outside of the city, outside of their busy lives. It is important to see different parts of the world, to experience small towns, space, nature, fireworks (Brennan loves this part of North Dakota).

I have lots more to say, but this is already to long and Bella is begging me to come play outside with her. How can I say no to that? It is 65 degrees and sunny and by tomorrow night I will be back in 110 degree Phoenix.

random pics

I asked all the kids to look at me...Claire was serious about "NOT"

Brennan's hair and eyelashes are the envy of everyone!

3 matching dresses

happy little sister

The big 30...he made me put on and light 30 candles

carrot cake by Krista....amazing!

Me and Bella before church

Brennan and Lily...he is the best to his little sisters

Lily's giggle!

I am off to North Dakota to get see "The Farm" and to get Brennan and Bella and bring them home.

We miss them.

I can't wait to see nature again...

green hills, trees, lakes, lightening bugs, rain, flowers

Even more exciting, I get to see my mom and my dad and my brennan and my bella.

Can't wait!

Lily 8 months

not to crazy about crawling on grass

Little Miss Lily is 8 months old. She is crawling around everywhere and loves the freedom that brings. Her face lights up as she crawls to the doll house or towards Claire. She will even start giggling. It is super adorable. Lily continues to be a little sunshine baby...so very happy. She is drooling all the time and we keep thinking that her little teeth will pop up, but they still haven't. She loves to eat solids...sweet potatoes are still her favorite and she isn't very fond of bananas.

She absolutely loves swimming in the pool. We have a huge sunstep with a shade umbrella and she enjoys hanging out on it and kick, kick, kicking her feet.

farm

gardening

swinging

flower crowns

lake

kayak... love Trevor's pink vest (he borrowed Nana's)

Brennan and Bella are living it up at the farm.

We miss them terribly!

And we definitely wish we could be up there enjoying the cool weather!

Claire is not a fan of the Arizona heat.

A couple times she has refused to get out of the car.

She claims the air is too hot and will burn her.

I agree with her and wish we could stay in air conditioning exclusively.

for elliott...

Elliott, your pictures did make the cut. Trevor wasn't crazy about his closed mouth smile (braces you know). I sometimes worry that I put far too many pictures up, but who cares, I take thousands so whatever. These were all taken by you, Elliott...thanks for humoring me. I know I am the most obnoxious picture crazed person ever!!! Also, thanks Alisa for taking notes about the blessing. One of my favorite parts of Lily's blessing is this...

"We bless you with peace in this difficult life that you will know the love of Heavenly Father and know of a surety that you were guided to an eternal family that loves and cares for you."

Lily has a calm and peaceful way about her. I hope she will always have that. It is a true gift in such a chaotic and challenging world to be able to hold fast to your inner peace and quiet. Lily has already taught me so much about being calm and enjoying simple things in life. She loves to simply "be". My brother Jonny's favorite scripture is "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalms 46. I believe Lily will have the gift of being still and knowing who she is and what is important.

Everyone asks about the big framed motto in our home which reads...Keep Calm and Carry On. You can see it from our front door. I love it and I love that Connie and Brandon gave it to us when they came to visit. Brennan asked me once, "Mom why do you like that saying? You are not really very calm." I explained to him that I want to be more calm...I am striving to be more like that, hence the family motto. He accepted that answer and once again reiterated that I am in no way a calm person. He is so right, especially when we are running late for something. And while, peace and calm in no way come naturally to me...I am starting to have more of it in my life. Lily helps bring it into our home. I love that about her. That is what is so amazing about having such beautiful, different, and strong personalities in a family. We all bring different attributes, opinions, and ideas to the table. That makes us a big, fun, crazy family. There are some days that I can barely wait to see how each of these little children will develop, what kind of people they will become. And in the meantime, I am trying to enjoy the journey.

blessing lily

Lily Ann on her blessing day.

She was absolutely sweet, happy, and delightful.

A beautiful Day.