We can't imagine life without Claire and Lily in our family...
Trevor and I spent Saturday at the regional adoption conference in Mesa. It was a great day. We were very excited to see Cami speak on the birth mother panel. She did a fabulous job. It is a little overwhelming and emotional to spend an entire day listening to stories and experiences and information about adoption. A few things really struck me about this conference. One is how quickly adoption continues to change. This is true especially with relation to "openness" in adoptions. I have so very many thoughts, opinions, and beliefs about this. And yes they have changed drastically from my thoughts on openness when we first began thinking of adoption years ago. Some things you don't understand until you experience them.
This brings me to my second realization, adoption continues to be so misunderstood. I loved one adoption theme that was brought up more than once. Adoption isn't just an event. It is an ongoing process, journey, part of who you are. This is true for everyone involved in adoptions...from adopted children, adoptive parents, birth parents, birth grandparents, even siblings are forever changed and touched by adoption. One of my favorite parts of these conferences is the opportunity to listen to panels of birth mothers and adoptees speak about their experiences. I don't think anyone who sits and listens to these birth mothers tell their personal stories could ever doubt the love and tenderness they feel for the babies that they carried and brought into this world.
We were asked at the conference to share a little of our feelings on having an open adoption and if we ever felt concerned or worried. Our response was that surprisingly the opposite is true. With openness comes more information, more love, more trust. It feels very normal and easy to have visits and emails and calls with our girls' birth families. Our hope is that as Claire and Lily grow up, they will have all their questions answered, they will know their stories, they will know they are loved. In our home adoption is considered a miracle. It is talked about a lot. It is a happy thing. I will never forget the day that I heard Bella and Claire playing dolls. Bella grabbed to strollers and turned to Claire and said, "Come on Claire, let's go to your room and adopt our babies so we can play." It made me smile.
We have been watching the MTV series 16 and Pregnant. This is Catelynn's story. It captures a lot of the emotions involved in adoption. Also, we saw the Life After Labor show and the visit between the birth parents, the adoptive parents and baby Carly. It was really good and it provided a window into how adoption has evolved today. Most adoptions are open, most involve some sort of visits or emails, photos etc. Most are carried out by the most courageous and brave people you will ever see.
3 comments:
I watched the mtv video and cried all the way through it, not tears of sorrow, but of joy. Seeing first hand everything this young couple experiences and relating it to our selfless birth moms, filled me with joy and gratitude. Thanks for sharing love you all,
MOM
I watched the video and cried my eyes out! Wow it really took me back! Its so sad that there are so many people like the teenagers' parents! I had so many conversations like the ones those kids had with their parents! (except mine weren't with my parents, thank goodness) Shoot, I think I'm going to have to blog about this now! I have so much on my mind. I love you all so much! Thanks for sharing! I loved this post. :)
ok what the weird this is Amber not Kandis...I'm signed in as her apparently. ooops! ;)
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